Accountability and Responsiblity.
08
Jun07
Topics:Rants
No matter how big or how small an event is in some people’s lives they somehow manage to use it as an excuse to as to why they have shortcomings, did something bad or that they DESERVE something out of life without having to work for it.
To elaborate on this, let’s say my father was an alcoholic. I’m going to drink and verbally/physically abuse people. This is what is expected of me. “Oh shame,” they’ll say “its because of his upbringing – his father was the same way.” “Oh she’s suffering from PMS, the fact that she threw a plate at him and took out his eye… well, he probably said something about her shoes too.”
This is absolutely pathetic. We as society seem to think this behavior okay as long as there’s an excuse or its “justified”. Unless you have the IQ which is comparable to an ape with brain damage there is no excuse or justification. We as humans were born with the power to think and control our actions. There are patterns, identify them. DO SOMETHING about them.
There is no excuse to make other people miserable because you stubbed your toe on the corner of your bed when you woke up this morning. Your problems are yours. They should stay that way. If you want to help yourself, fantastic, I (we as society) should do what is possible help you help yourself.
Life is as fair as you make it. If you are down trodden, you probably let it happen to you, I have no sympathy. If its circumstances, what have YOU done to uplift those circumstances.
It’s your problem at the end of the day. Take responsibility. Take ownership. Don’t blame other people. Accept what has happened, what you have done and own it. Everything in life has a consequence.
I realize this sounds exceptionally harsh. It’s not harsh. It is what life is about life. Take responsibility and account for your own actions. Where you start isn’t where you end up. Make your own luck. Take the gap.
If you moping, great. Mope for a bit, but at the end of the day you’ll need to build a bridge and get over it. We as society should not let these people get away with these excuses.
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Current Comments // 06
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It's always easy to point the finger, but I would be willing to bet this is a little bit of pot and kettle. Considering the angry tone in which this is written, I take it someone wronged you and this was your back lash.
Yes, people should take responsibility, and yes, it is a civilised society that believes in owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for them. But it is a mature society that can give forgiveness even though it wasn't begged.
I have learned over the years that the only way you can believe you are better than others (and believe me, I KNOW I am) is to assist people with their shortcomings rather than beat them over the head with them. Allow people the chance to take responsibility, even assist them with it by forgiving them upfront.
More often than not, the failure to accept one's responsibility is not due to a lack of desire, but an excess of fear for the reaction. Take a leaf out of your own book there, and take responsibility for not creating an environment for others to take responsibility for their shortcomings.
After all, NONE of us are perfect, even those who are more perfect than others.
Yes, people should take responsibility, and yes, it is a civilised society that believes in owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for them. But it is a mature society that can give forgiveness even though it wasn't begged.
I have learned over the years that the only way you can believe you are better than others (and believe me, I KNOW I am) is to assist people with their shortcomings rather than beat them over the head with them. Allow people the chance to take responsibility, even assist them with it by forgiving them upfront.
More often than not, the failure to accept one's responsibility is not due to a lack of desire, but an excess of fear for the reaction. Take a leaf out of your own book there, and take responsibility for not creating an environment for others to take responsibility for their shortcomings.
After all, NONE of us are perfect, even those who are more perfect than others.
Bob the brain surgeon //17:06 // 2007/06/08
Things very rarely have the good fortune of being that simple or that clearly defined one of the side effects of life... each situation is unique and needs to be looked at individually and for many such situations what you say applies but for others it is very harsh and unjustified..
On the bright side at least you have an opinion and know what you feel about how things should stand as opposed to blindly stumbling around and changing your point of view/opinion every five minutes :)
On the bright side at least you have an opinion and know what you feel about how things should stand as opposed to blindly stumbling around and changing your point of view/opinion every five minutes :)
Rozz //23:06 // 2007/06/08
Great rant, and some interesting points raised. I often find myself asking why is it that everyone else in the world seems to need an atittude adjustment but is oblivious to it.
Let me explain. I have a friend who is extremely aggressive in nature. Tone of her words, the words she chooses to use, the way she degrades others without even realising it, she is unpleasant across most social situations and often leaves everyone around the table feeling uncomfortable. I once asked her, after she had made a very rude comment about a mutual friend's father, if she ever bothered to listen to what came out of her own mouth. She was gobsmacked.
My point is this, everyone can see she is aggressive and everyone would rather not have her around, why is it though, that she cannot see this herself. I was told to be patient with her and try to understand why she is being that way, as I am becoming peeved with the constant snappy nasty remarks and inappropirate social gaffs that leave everyone red.
Tell me, why must I be patient, why doesn't she have a long hard talk to herself, and sort it out, why must we make excuses for that sort of behaviour and why isn't she accountable for herself and her actions. Why is it some people are the ones who have to help and be nice and be calm and be a friend, but other people get to go through life being rude and beligerant and unpleasant, without ever having to change or even acknowledge themselves.
How is that fair, poor or not, bad upbringing or billionaire lifestyle, everyone can stop being a bitch if they try hard enough.
Let me explain. I have a friend who is extremely aggressive in nature. Tone of her words, the words she chooses to use, the way she degrades others without even realising it, she is unpleasant across most social situations and often leaves everyone around the table feeling uncomfortable. I once asked her, after she had made a very rude comment about a mutual friend's father, if she ever bothered to listen to what came out of her own mouth. She was gobsmacked.
My point is this, everyone can see she is aggressive and everyone would rather not have her around, why is it though, that she cannot see this herself. I was told to be patient with her and try to understand why she is being that way, as I am becoming peeved with the constant snappy nasty remarks and inappropirate social gaffs that leave everyone red.
Tell me, why must I be patient, why doesn't she have a long hard talk to herself, and sort it out, why must we make excuses for that sort of behaviour and why isn't she accountable for herself and her actions. Why is it some people are the ones who have to help and be nice and be calm and be a friend, but other people get to go through life being rude and beligerant and unpleasant, without ever having to change or even acknowledge themselves.
How is that fair, poor or not, bad upbringing or billionaire lifestyle, everyone can stop being a bitch if they try hard enough.
Caroline //20:06 // 2007/06/10
Do you for one minute think that people INTEND to fuck everything up that is dear to them?
To believe you are somehow superior because you have the inner strength to resist an affliction that someone else cant is rather obnoxiously naive, wouldn't you agree?
To insinuate that you are totally insusceptible to the kind of problem or mistake that could mess up your life in a big way and that you are responsible for... strikes me as rather arrogant.
But yes, judgement is the easy way out for those who cant process emotional pain. Perhaps the world as a whole should be more critical of those who are too self-absorbed to understand the human condition and play off ignorance and fear for superiority and strength.
To prescribe to the above indignations is to pre-suppose that your birth-right is indeed superior to others'. We as a society should banish supremacists like the social lepers that they are.
To believe you are somehow superior because you have the inner strength to resist an affliction that someone else cant is rather obnoxiously naive, wouldn't you agree?
To insinuate that you are totally insusceptible to the kind of problem or mistake that could mess up your life in a big way and that you are responsible for... strikes me as rather arrogant.
But yes, judgement is the easy way out for those who cant process emotional pain. Perhaps the world as a whole should be more critical of those who are too self-absorbed to understand the human condition and play off ignorance and fear for superiority and strength.
To prescribe to the above indignations is to pre-suppose that your birth-right is indeed superior to others'. We as a society should banish supremacists like the social lepers that they are.
James (aka Mitchell) //21:06 // 2007/06/13
Clearly James missed the plot.
To summarise what I read in the blog, in case you missed it...
- People have problems, we understand that.
- People mope, thats okay for a while.
- People should deal with their problems in whatever way you can.
- If people don't try and uplift themselves, and instead use their problems as an excuse for whatever else, then no sympathy will be afforded.
- But if they do, we will do our utmost to help.
Surely, if you consciously recognise a downward spiral and do absolutely nothing about it, is that any worse than intention to fuck everything up? Its just as bad.
To summarise what I read in the blog, in case you missed it...
- People have problems, we understand that.
- People mope, thats okay for a while.
- People should deal with their problems in whatever way you can.
- If people don't try and uplift themselves, and instead use their problems as an excuse for whatever else, then no sympathy will be afforded.
- But if they do, we will do our utmost to help.
Surely, if you consciously recognise a downward spiral and do absolutely nothing about it, is that any worse than intention to fuck everything up? Its just as bad.
What really happened here, I believe is that James has some sort of chip on his shoulder and is far from objective in this entire debate. So James, I challenge you to reply with your truthful intentions behind your comment. Who are you trying to protect or impress with your lashing?
Jon //15:06 // 2007/06/15
Life is indeed what you make of it. Human beings are blessed with the divine spark, and are capable of an extraordinary range of emotions and experience. We can be downtrodden one day and Emporers the next. However, some of us find our cross in life harder to bear than others.
Do not lump people that have a choice, who come from a society where upliftment is possible with those who were born into a world that they didn't ask to be in. I realise that you might very well be generalising, but take care when criticising humans that we are all humans - and kids with foetal alcohol syndrome didn't ask to be born that way.
There isn't always an easy answer to the moral dilemma you're posing - I think each individual reacts in their own way and it's what makes us such complex beings...
Touchy subject for a Friday, but oh so interesting :)